Thursday, May 1, 2014

Great and Terrible Things about Writing

The great thing about Candy Crush Saga is that it only lets you play for a little while before a screen pops up saying, "No more lives until you've worked on your novel, slacker!"

The terrible thing about being a novelist is that it means you are expected to occasionally write a novel.

The great thing about writing a novel is that you sometimes get fantastic ideas, or awesome bits of dialogue, or wonderful character insights, when you are grocery shopping at Food City.

The terrible thing about getting fantastic ideas when you are grocery shopping at Food City is that you never have a pen that works, or any decent paper, and so you promise yourself that this time you'll remember, because the ideas are just that freaking good.

The great thing is about ideas that are just that freaking good is that you can remember them even though you got them while grocery shopping at Food City.

And the terrible thing about remembering the freaking good ideas you got while shopping at Food City is that you still have to write the suckers down, and you've got to quit playing Candy Crush Saga and do it.