Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Making Mothers Cry

I wasn't going to write a blog post this morning--I've got a novel under a highly improbable deadline. But when I sat down to work and opened my Facebook feed, I saw a post from a friend saying that she'd been listening to the radio all day about people saying gays were "pushing marriage down peoples' throats." My friend's post included a link to a humorous essay written by a university English professor, on all the startling ways that gay marriage had not affected her straight marriage so far.

(For the record, I think that in a week or two we're going to have to adjust and quit calling it "gay marriage" and "straight marriage." It's just "marriage" now.)

Maybe it's only because I know her well, but I could feel the pain in my friend's post, feel how hard it was for her to hear people bashing gay marriage on the radio. My friend is one of the most caring, honest, trustworthy women I know. She's a wife, a mother, a Christian, a churchgoer, a hardworking professional. She's got a great garden. She reads good books. She's also gay. She's married to another woman.

Her marriage inspires mine. I've told her and her wife that before.

So I thought I'd tell you how, on the day the Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage, two women I care about burst into tears. One is in her 40s, the other in her 70s. Neither is gay.

The both have a gay child.

I texted one of them right after the ruling--I'd have just run over to see her in person, but she was out of town. She texted back that her high-school-aged gay child had just phoned her with the news, overflowing with happiness, and then she texted back that she was crying tears of joy on her child's behalf.

The other mother posted on Facebook to her gay child, who'd been in a committed monogamous relationship for the past 21 years. I'm just going to copy it, I don't think she'd mind:

I am in tears of joy at this news. I love you all so very very much! You have all been so patient and brave about this and I am so proud and happy I am bursting !

C'mon, everybody. Think what you want. Worship how you want. No one can stop you; no one is trying to. But quit saying mean stuff in public. Mommas are listening.