Tuesday, October 22, 2013

John Green's Minion and Me

Sometimes I wish I were a little more like John Green.  Not just because his book The Fault In Our Stars was way up on the New York Times Bestseller list.  Not just because he's a brilliant, and can write the pants off most of us mere mortals, myself included.  Because he's got this internet stuff down.

Since fall break my daughter has become a complete John Green addict.  This weekend she was, to use her term, "fangirling," because--I'm going to have to quote her here, it's like she's speaking a foreign language--"I put up a post on Tumbler, and fishingboatproceeds--that's John Green's Tumbler name--"liked" it!  So John Green HIMSELF read my Tumbler post!"

1)  I have no idea what Tumbler is.  My daughter's attempts to enlighten me did not.  All I can figure out is that Tumbler is sort of like Twitter, but not really, and that's a bummer, because Twitter I mostly understand.  Only the kids keep telling me to stop calling my Twitter posts, "Twits."

2)  I have no idea how my daughter knows how John Green refers to himself on Tumbler.  Also, what kind of name is fishingboatproceeds?  Also, turns out it's "Tumblr."  No E.  Because that's more hip.  (Mor hip?)

3)  Don't you imagine that, when authors get all over the NYT Bestseller list, they hire staff to read Tumblr?  I hate to burst my daughter's bubble, but I bet her post was actually liked by John Green's Minion.

4)  If any of my dear readers--or even, both of them--are posting about my books on Tumblr, I will never know.  I feel a little sorry that I can't give them the same sort of thrill John Green's Minion gave my daughter.

5)  Apparently--this is another thing I completely did not know--if you string a bunch of unrelated capital letters together, like this--QHERGCUXPILT--it means you are "fangirling."

6)  I don't know whether or not there is "fanboying."  Perhaps being an obsessive fan considered inherently feminine.

7)  "Fanwomaning?"

8)  I so want to be on the New York Times Bestseller list.  I can't tell you.

9)  First, though, I'm going to have to come up with a title for the new novels.  All previous attempts have been rejected.  I think we're going to have to go with the dart-board-on-the-door-of-my-editor's-office option again.

10)  If you have a suggestion for a title, OR you can explain Tumblr, OR you want to be my Minion, do call.  Or send me a Twit.  I'm up on that.