Fan Mail

 So, the Tennessee house passed the book banning bill, HB1944, 63-24, and it's on to the Senate where its approval is anticipated. They're moving forward on HB2633, which would allow teachers to refer to their trans students by their gender assigned at birth/dead name, without fear of reprisal.

The fiscal note on HB2633 says that it's almost certainly unconstitutional and if enacted is expected to cost the state of Tennessee over 5 BILLION dollars in federal education funding, but hey, that's the price you pay to enshrine your bigotry into law.

Meanwhile, yesterday I received a letter from a fifth grade student. I'm not going to share one single personal detail about said person, nor am I quoting any part of their letter to me, which I consider private between us. I would not out this kid for the world--I feel such incredible tenderness, love, and concern for them.

They aren't trans, at least not to my knowledge. (As an aside, please note that I've switched to they/them pronouns in an effort to blur this student's identity, and you all fully understood what I wrote. Not that big a deal, is it? Carry on.)

They attempted suicide.

They were writing to tell me how important several of my books are to them, but especially Fighting Words, in which traumatized elder sister Suki, not the POV character, attempts to take her life. 

(I will point out that I deliberately wrote this book very carefully to make it age-appropriate for fifth grade readers. The word "suicide" isn't in the book. It's written to discourage attempts, not encourage them--there are guidelines for that, and I followed them.)

The letter writer wanted me to know that they are getting help. They hoped I would write the court trial scene, alluded to but not shown in the book, but noted gently that they understood if it was too hard for me. And they asked me some personal questions, again reassuring me I didn't have to answer if it was too hard. 

They are in fifth grade. 

I read this letter and I sat in my car outside the post office and I sobbed.

This book, Fighting Words, has been challenged in school libraries. To my knowledge, each time it has been put back on the shelves--but any challenge automatically removes a book from library shelves for a period of time.

This child needed my book, in a way that's impossible for anyone who hasn't been in a similar position to understand. They were not too young. They needed to hear that help is possible, that help can work, that despair never lasts forever but death does, that staying alive and fighting and speaking up is worth however difficult it is to do.

Any parent can remove any book from their own child's hands. But no parent should take away a book from another child. You don't know each child's story. You don't know which books they desperately need.

This is why book banning is heinous. It's why it's a crime. Suicide is the second-highest cause of death in children ages 10-14--behind cancer, birth defects, heart problems, pneumonia, influenza, Covid--a statistic we dropped from the afterword of my book because it's frankly terrifying. 

It terrifies me. It should terrify you. Keep the books on the shelves that explain hard things in age-appropriate ways. Stop being such flaming jerks who don't care if fifth graders live or die.